This aren't new to some readers and I just can't help to ask, why?

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

                            - Sharon Stone -

Learning that courtship in western culture, if it exist, is far more remote than Filipino way as far as I was brought up and thought by my parents since childhood. I go directly to my point. For me, sex is not a joke. I consider it a delicate/serious matter bearing all it's consequences, if it takes place expectedly or unexpectedly. Lacking in experience that women can fake orgasms can have various reasons behind it and so goes with the men as well. Same is true with women can fake whole relationship? I believe to be able to do so, one must earn expertise in this regard unless a partner choose to stay in that fake relationship and who would want that to happen? I think I am rambling but, must admit that sharing oneself/feelings let your friends know even in so little but powerful way that you understand them. Need I say more?

Lent is the yearly commemoration of Christ's death and resurrection. We called Holy Week here as "Cuaresma or Semana Santa".  During the Lenten season, numerous passion plays are performed as part of the celebrations. Palm Sunday is the start of holy week. Catholics carry palm leaves, known as "palaspas", to chuch for the priest to bless. It is then wave in the air, mimicking the crowd that met Christ upon his return to Jerusalem.

My aunt had just finished the "pabasa or pasyon" whereby groups of elders converge in prayer, narrating in a virtual trance the story of Christ's passion and death. She had vow/pledge to conduct it yearly for a personal wish.
 

Other Catholics opted to watch the "Sinakulo" a Lenten play, usually in verse, which narrates a long sequence of episodes from the Old and the New Testaments, with special emphasis on the life, sufferings and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Certain conventions of marching, chanting and magic are usually followed. Sinakulo scenes are presented on a proscenium-type stage of bamboo-and-wood or cement-and-steel; under light bulbs that cast an unyielding light instead of creating a mood and against painted cloth or paper backdrops, called telon. It takes at least eight nights - from Palm Sunday to Easter - to present the play. Because of the imperatives of urban life, most modern sinakulos run for only one or two hours. They can also be presented in all kinds of venues: on the traditional stage, on the streets, in a chapel, in a large room, or even in an open-air strike area.

Catholics also celebrate Maundy Thursday, attending church services. During mass, priest imitates Christ by washing the feet of twelve clergy/lay person, it was done in our chapel last year. In one practice called Visita Iglesia, Catholics try to visit as many churches as they can for merit usually done or for an earnest request or plea. I have done this during the law review.

On Good Friday, a reenactments on the sufferings and death of Christ in the cross to commemorate Christ's sufferings and pain. Some provinces features such a real life re-enactment. You will be able to capture the silhouette of the nail punctured left hand on the cross while in some provinces the crucifixion are pierced with spikes after being tied to the wood cross. It is a religious belief to atone for their sins. There's not as much blood as you might expect since the tying of the arms in 2 places helps to prevent bleeding like a tourniquet. Real-life crucifixion are not countenanced by the Catholic Church. Such rituals are part of a folk religious culture that has deep roots in a brand of obscurantism that dates back to the Spanish colonial period. 

It is said, starting 3:00 o'clock pm on good friday, there is this traditional belief not to take a bath until 5:00 am of Easter sunday as the water has "kamandag" (poison) and if you will be sick during these days, it will be hard to recuperate. So if you can't resist it, you must take a bath at least before the strike of 3:00 o'clock pm. My mother had always warned us about this belief since we were young kids, she said, nothing will be loss if we follow. I obey her to avoid any further argument. However, I recalled when I was invited by my client to go swimming with his staff in Batangas and I can't refuse, it was during a good friday and I went with them but nothing happened to me. Another superstitious belief regarding the avoidance of eating meat from the aforesaid time, it has 2 interpretation: first, the eating of the animal's meat and second, meat as the "human flesh".  Some interpret this prohibition in favor of the second, the reason being Jesus Christ had sacrifice and died for us while the concerned are enjoying on even time, oh well.. I don't know.

Easter Sunday is a joyful occasion that starts with "Salubong", where the statues representing the Risen Christ and the Grieving Blessed Virgin Mary are carried to meet at an appointed place. This is done by separating the people into two groups. The first group is consists of men and boys who will follow the image of Jesus Christ, while the other group is consists of women and girls who follow the image of Mary. At the end of the procession, the two groups will meet in the church, where a number of little girls who participate during the dawn ritual as angels. They were lowered for the traditional lifting of the veil of mourning of the Blessed Mother.

Forty weekdays are given over to prayer, almsgiving, fasting, and abstinence from meat. Christ's forty-day retreat in the desert and his success in resisting the devil's temptation to wealth, power, and glory inspires the Christian. I haven't followed this abstinence from meat in my entire life, I can't avoid eating animal meat within the forty weekdays, maybe someday I will as I haven't gone yet on a retreat. Actually now a days, people just want to stay away from the busy crowd of life in Manila, free themselves meantime from work, politics, etc. Some go vacation to any province for the observance of the aforesaid passion plays, swimming or anything they want to while others just spent it at home with their family. Happy Easter!

 I asked myself -

Q:  What do I fear most? Death?
A:   No.

Q:   Being alone?
A:   Maybe, but I have my nieces and they considered me their mother.

Q:   Looking stupid?
A:   Sometimes.

Q:  Loss of loved one?
A:  I haven't experienced that.

Q:  What..? Failure?
A:  No, but I may feel depressed.

Q:  Diseases?
A:  I'm healthy all over, no signs of illness.

Q:  Then what?? Afraid of not being loved?
A:  Hmm, yes.. I'm afraid of love.

Generally, people are afraid of love. For some, this is one reason they take shelter in lust. In lust, a person's consciousness is one of protecting himself and getting things for himself. It's final goal is personal satisfaction, especially in connection with sex, culminating in orgasm (Jagad Guru). Mind you, I don't indulge in lust.

I am afraid of love because I lose my control and there's a chance that I may not loved in return. So as not to make matter worst, it's better to separate ways. It seems love is dangerous because in love, a person is completely vulnerable. I may be subjected to what love can do whatever it want to do to me. I may love whom I should not loved or may have surrendered to a wrong person. I need to give to that person my heart, mind and body but might only turned it into shreds of pain.

Although in sex, life begins at 40 for some British women as they know how to enjoy passion with their partner and they are far more sexually confident than when they were younger, but this is inapplicable to me and again ask myself, how could I reconcile this with my fear?

Everybody handles this day differently. People can choose to make it romantic or make it just another day, it will be what you want it to be. Some people are sincere about the holiday, while others are just going through the motions. Remember, it's one day of focus, we have the other 364 days. When someone says, 'I Love You', the sentence bonds "you" and "I" by love.

                                  

"While we're dancing, he inserted his left leg between my legs and I feel anxious.."

It was unexpected invitation from AA together with our classmates in chemistry to go to 'Discovery" in Sta. Mesa, Manila after class, to dance. I am usually with my peers in student council group for most of the event during college. I can't refuse to say no to AA as his group was not bad influence people and they belong to the top ranking students in chemistry course with Lynn also a resident of Pasig City, who encourage me to go with them and promised that she will accompany me home and tell my parents that they invited me to dance.

AA told me that we will be with Professor BC, one of the Magic 5 terrorist professor handling higher math subjects. He usually pass 8 out of 35 students in his subject so the students avoid to enroll his class except when there will be no other options, i.e., available time and/or conflict with other subjects enrolled. I am not under his class. BC was around 5'4", single, sporting a mustache, fair complexion and publicly known as gay in the school campus.

When we were inside the Discovery, I saw women in fashion show wearing one piece skin color attire. I feel shame to look at one lady at the rear end  because her suit marks the line of her vagina while walking in the stage. Despite being ashamed for the woman, I'm also giggling but try to control my emotion. You know what? That woman feels so confident while doing the fashion show and I don't know if she is aware that her vagina's line, marks in her attire. Anyway, my classmate whisper that these women are prostitutes and their purpose was to really call men attention.

After the show, the dance starts. Prof. BC ask me to dance with him and take me in the dance floor. He is wearing long sleeve shirt and blue jeans while I'm wearing white maong pants and a blue top. The music at the time is 'sweet.'  While we are dancing, he is asking me my personal identity, etc. so I answer him with due respect. Later, I noticed that his left knee somewhat touches my front so I feel uneasy. I am thinking that it was just only unintentional but when I again feel his leg touches my front, I feel nervous but can't speak, he continue asking me nothing sweet questions. Geez, my mind is in trouble as he portrays publicly that he is gay and a professor but what is he doing?? He is smiling at me but I don't look at him as I realized that he purposely inserted his left leg between my legs to somewhat touch my front while we're dancing. AA, who was also dancing with Lynn is looking at us. After the incident, I told AA what had happened but he told me Prof. BC is gay. Is Prof. BC experimenting? Just curious. 

Writing is a lot like thinking. I try to recollect the way my parents disciplined us when we were still young. As far as I can recall, there were only two (2) occasions that he used his bare hand to punish us, his children.

During childhood when I'm  5 or 6 years old, my elder sister and I have a quarrel and when my mother informed my father about it, he was so angry. The punishment we both received was a spank from his right hand on our bums. It was repeated when I'm  8 years, when he used a rolled newspaper hitting me again in the bum. I really can't recall the details why we usually quarrel as it is so long time ago but I consider that was so painful, not the effect of 'physical' pain but his wrath having the moral ascendancy over us. All of us grew old and such spanking with the bare hand thing was enough punishment for me to repent.

I haven't experienced any act of violence from my father because the mere sermon with moral lessons, I already cry hard. Neither, I don't recalled in any instance, my mother ever since lift a hand against all of us. That was the way my parents disciplined us since our tender years. They never inflict any physical harm on us, mere sermon is enough to make us cry but there were lots of sermons.

Now, despite my age, I am wondering why my father is so strict more than when I was in my thirty's, twenty's, not for having no trust at all to me but he refer to the 'accident' when I leave the house for work or go with my client to their place in province or the type of person I am dealing with, he usually remind me that I should always be very careful. I just poked a joke at my father and told him that I'm too old to understand what I am doing and if in the event I am fooled, I always try to explain him that I will choose to commit it in the name of love.

I'm back to blogland. I will not learn if I discontinue interacting around the globe. This time it's more of a challenge for me as I happened to observed the realities regarding the influence/effect of culture to every individual, which according to one of the comments I received, has a corresponding hidden beauty in itself, if only I were to dig deep into it.  Although, I haven't regain my energy yet, I'll start posting first by sharing my New Year's Resolution - 

1.   Try not to be sensitive.
2.   Set aside ego when called for.
3.   Avoid fickle mind.
4.   Strive to improve my profession.
5.   To be exceptionally broadminded.
6.   I will try to forgive and forget.
7.   I wanna know what love is. (I'm not singing)

I am still mindful of what I have said that I will adopt changes, those that are beneficial to me while interacting in the world wide web. I experienced a whale of difference of peoples' attitude from around the world vis-a vis, the traditional Filipino attitude which has strong influence in me, especially so, the way since as a child, I was brought up by my parents.

During the time I share from some of you my ideas by commenting in spaces, vast difference arises from laws, culture, relationship, etc. There is no intention whatsoever on my part to hurt people much as I want to be supportive, but, due to individual difference, we have arrived at differences of opinion and of course, that is fine with me as I value learning as a continuing education in life.

In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies.  A man who is interested in courting a woman has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as too aggressive or too presumptuous. Friendly dates are often the starting point, often with a group of other friends.  Later, couples may go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly.  If the couple has decided to come out in the open about their romance, they will tell their family and friends as well. 

If a  man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl.  It is appropriate that the guy must show his face to the girl's family. It is said that in the Philippines, courting a Filipina means courting her family as well. The metaphor often used is that of playing baseball.  The man is said to reach ' first base '  if the girl accepts his proposal to go out on a date for the first time. Thereafter, going out on several dates is like reaching the second and third bases.  A ' home-run '  is one where the girl formally accepts the man's love and they become boyfriend-girlfriend. 

During the old times and in the rural areas of the Philippines, Filipino men would make serenade the women  at night and sing songs of love and affection.  This is basically a Spanish influence. The man is usually accompanied by his close friends who provide moral support for the guy, apart from singing with him. Filipino women are expected to be playing hard to get because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer.  Some courtships could last months or so before the woman accepts the man's love. 

A traditional Filipina maiden is someone who is modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered and does not show her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately. She is also not supposed to go out on a date with several men. The opposite of 'mahinhin' is  'malandi' (flirt), which is taboo in Filipino culture as far as courtship is concerned.

After a long courtship, if the couple later decide to get married, there is the Filipino tradition of pamanhikan, where the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask for her parents blessings to marry their daughter.  It is also an occasion for the parents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man. During pamanhikan, the man and his parents bring some gifts.  It is also at this time that the wedding date is formally set, and the couple become engaged to get married. For the rest of you who are into raising successful families, I see permanent marriage as a vehicle to the family's security and a better future. Filipinos are marriage oriented. We know the ins and outs of successful marriages. We live it, we breath it, we teach it to our children, and succeeding generations. The reason Filipino families have stayed resilient against Divorce over the decades is because marriage is considered sacred.

The traditional Filipina is shy and secretive about her real feelings for a suitor and denies it even though she is really in love with the man. Just teasing is the usual term associated with pairing off potential couples in Filipino culture. This is common among teenagers and young adults.  It is a way of matching people who may have mutual admiration or affection for each other.  It may end up in a romance or avoidance of each other if the situation becomes embarrassing for both individuals. It is a means for feeling out a woman's attitude about an admirer or suitor. If the denial is vehement and the girl starts avoiding the boy, then he gets the message that his desire to pursue her is hopeless. The advantage of this is that he does not get embarrassed because he has not started courting the girl in earnest.  As in most Asian cultures, Filipinos avoid losing face. ' Busted '  is for someone who fails to reach first base in courting a girl because she does not have any feelings for him to begin with. However, if the girl encourages her  suitor either by being nice to him or not getting angry with the teasers, then the man can court in earnest and the teasing eventually ends. The courtship then has entered a serious stage, and the romance begins.

A man who is unable to express his affection to a woman (who may have the same feelings for him) is called a stupid, extremely shy or simply coward. To call a man stupid means he does not know how to court a girl, is playing innocent, or does not know she also has an affection for him.  If a man is stupid, he needs a bridge, anyone who is a mutual friend of him and the girl he loves, who then conveys to the girl his affection for her. It is also a way of 'testing the waters' so to speak.  If the boy realizes that the girl does not have feelings for him, he will then not push through with the courtship, thus saving face, as some guys are afraid of their love being turned down by the girl.

The Tagalog term 'tampo'  is usually translated as 'to sulk',  but it does not quite mean that.  Sulk seems to have a negative meaning which is not expressed in tampo. It is a way of withdrawing, of expressing hurt feelings in a culture where outright expression of anger is discouraged. A woman may show  'tampo'  if she feels jealous or neglected by her beloved. Tampuhan is basically a lovers' quarrel, often manifested in total silent treatment or not speaking to each other. The person who is nagtatampo expects to be cajoled out of the feeling of being unhappy or left out. Usually, tampo in Filipino culture is manifested in non-verbal ways, such as not talking to other people, keeping to one's self and sometimes pretending to be happy when not.

In our loving ways seriously, the term " I love you" , is bereft of all that affection in a Filipinos wooing of a woman. Affection and the lightness of language, for she, if Filipino, too, knows he can just be saying it but not truly meaning it. Deep down the Filipino knows words are just that ....  words. Sounds articulated by the vocal cords, good to hear but they need not always carry the weight of truth. We are adept at manipulating them. It's a cultural attitude to language. We're not supposed to believe everything we hear. There are always implications and nuances and the truth is more in them than in the words themselves. So, the bearer must be assured by the speaker.    

These are some of the traditional filipino way that influences me and due to the widely acceptance of modern technology, i.e., the internet, some of these traditions are no longer applicable depending upon the circumstances of each case. Happy New Year!

If I speak in the tongues of men but have not love and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I surrender my body to the flames, but have not love I gain nothing.  Love always protects, always trusts, always perseveres. Where there is knowledge, it will pass away..

And now these things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship-- Never.