Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, " He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a Happy Birthday!

A kiss is an act which when done confirms everything from both ends. Kissing was never difficult but the first time is the most difficult and daring act to do, it's worth remembering and sharing. You're sure to learn something, and probably laugh a bit too.

 

I'm looking for different interpretation of  ' kiss '  when I came across to see the phrase -
" kiss-me-over-the-garden-gate. " There is no definite meaning of that, however one can imagine anything, he can use his wildest imagination but, I believe, it depends upon the use in the sentence. Ok, here is an example of different people view kiss.

 

Prof. of Economics
Kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply.

 

Prof. of Accountancy
Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

 

Prof. of Algebra
Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.

 

Prof. of Geometry
Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.

 

Prof. of Physics
Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

 

Prof. of Chemistry
Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

 

Prof. of Zoology
Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.

 

Prof. of Physiology
Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in the state of contraction.

 

Prof. of Dentistry
Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

 

Prof. of Philosophy
Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

 

Prof. of English
Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper, it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

 

Prof. of Architecture
Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects

 

Prof. of Comp. Science
What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable.

 

So whatever is your definition, I'm interested to hear it.

 

 

Do you believe in horoscope? I do, because by experience, some of my previous horoscope were indeed true and it happened. Well, here is my forecasts in 2006:

 

VIRGO in 2006 - Pleasure

The influence of Uranus in Pisces could find you transforming into a creature that you’ve never noticed before: a Virgo who actually pursues getting out and having a good time – often! Normally, you seem to be enamored of the work ethic, but this year, you just might rebel – astonishing relatives and old friends. Oddly enough, since you’ll be more relaxed, your career may actually advance. Here’s a word to the wise: It’s OK!!! As long as you don’t go too far embracing the good-time-Charlie ethic, you’ll probably be healthier and more relaxed than you’ve been in a long time – and your love life will definitely blossom. In fact, all your relationships will be much easier to maintain. You’ll still be there for those who love you.

 

Oh my...  Virgo in 2006 is "Pleasure."  See, it's only the start and I'm smiling at that. I think it's exciting. Well, I will be having a good time often and mind you, it says "I might rebel." Whew! I will, when the circumstances warrant, ok. Now, I'm tickled with this - "your love life will definitely blossom." Awww, I do hope so, who wouldn't like that? So would you like to know your horoscope in 2006? Click this link for a sneak preview of your horoscope -

http://www.astrocenter.com/msn/HPSnapshot.aspx?GT1=7420

 

it's fun or rather entertaining, if not, then don't continue reading. Good luck!

 

 

            The Anti-Email Law

 

The internet was helpful to people who would love to find his dream partner and found support from others in similar situations. Many found consolation in discovering they were not "the only one."  Some were developing mutual interest and even falling in love.

 

Suspects A, B & C conspiring and confederating one another, have hacked their way into the I.P. address of Miss X in whom Mr. A is sexually interested, viewing and deleting messages from a competitor and forwarding the same to some other interested person depriving the victim of her personal privacy.

 

 

IIWQ .... I,  Maria  a.k.a.  Fructose, The EXTREME by virtue of the power vested in me by The KING,  do hereby order and decree that-

 

Any person found guilty beyond reasonable doubt of violating The Anti-Email Law, shall be made to suffer a penalty of big-time testi kick;

 

       

 

If accused is a woman she will be crown as "Woman with balls"; if lesbian, she is ordered committed to the custody and care of the good doctor and if gay, I will make him a real man!

 

 

Conservatives in a typical sense with respect to relationship (not politics) is the way I am right now but, I realized that dealing with people in the world wide web necessitates changes and to some extent delicate changes, to understand the attitude, feelings, beliefs as the case may be, of one another. I am not against it because I can't see nothing wrong with it too, besides, I need to give myself a chance as at this point in time, I admit that I'm still virgin (physically).

 

Some people don't understand the attitude of women and they take it against them being irrational. So as to avoid being misinterpreted as such, I decided to adopt the changes which are beneficial to me. Ok, below is something for you as the atmosphere for me is getting serious. I want to make you smile, so please enjoy.

 

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head, and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."

 

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

 

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing,' and how I can make a woman truly happy."

 

After a few minutes God said,
"You want two or four lanes on that bridge?"

 

The Prisoner

The newly weds arrived at the hotel and the wife tells her husband:

"Honey, I know nothing of this, this is my first time.."  Don't worry, honey. We will call your thing, "The Prison" and my thing, "The Prisoner".

 

Upon reaching the bedroom, the husband says: "So we will put the prisoner in the prison." Okay, replied the wife. And they throw the first one. The husband is laying face up on the bed, but the woman was delighted and tells her husband:

"Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!"

 

The husband is tired but delighted and tells her:

"Let's put him into the prison another time!"

 

After the 2nd, the wife feels so great and tells her husband:

"Honey! the prisoner is out again!

 

The husband rises and they throw the 3rd. Husband is exhausted but the wife uttered:

"Honey, the prisoner escaped again!

 

And the husband replied: "HEY, This is not life imprisonment!!"

Wife replied: Ok, ok! but why did the ball not with the prisoner inside the prison?